Things Are Changing Around Here

February 23, 2025

| THE EPISTOLARIAN |

I've decided to stop writing thank-you notes.

I know this might sound surprising—perhaps even scandalous to my family—but for me, gratitude isn’t a task to check off a to-do list. Correspondence is a joy, something I genuinely savor. While I feel immense gratitude, I prefer to express it in ways that allow for deeper, more meaningful connection. Many of my letters naturally express thanks, but those short, obligatory notes? They feel perfunctory, transactional. Instead, I’ll be sharing my gratitude in ways that feel more immediate, more personal—a text, a phone call, a long conversation over tea.

This small decision is part of a much larger realization: I don’t want to live as if life is something to be completed.

So much of my work revolves around the question of And then what? We strive for milestones, careers, relationships, material goals—but what happens once we achieve them? What if the thing we’ve been working toward isn’t actually what we want? Or worse, what if we already had it all along?

It’s a familiar narrative—the successful attorney, actor, or executive who "had it all," except for the things that truly mattered. We hear this story so often that it has become cliché, yet there’s an undeniable truth within it. Many people only realize what they really want after arriving at the place they were so desperate to reach.

But what if we played the game of life differently? What if we walked every step with awareness, asking at each stage: If I had everything I wanted, would I still be doing this?

I've always been fascinated by the study that shows lottery winners and paraplegics reporting similar levels of happiness one year after their life-altering events. The implication is staggering: humans are terrible at predicting what will bring them joy—or sorrow. Why? Perhaps it’s evolutionary, a survival mechanism that keeps us striving, scanning the horizon for danger or scarcity. But if we know this—if we recognize that happiness isn’t dictated by circumstance—then wouldn't the wisest way to live be to choose joy now?

Yet, so often, we wait. We wait for permission, for convenience, for the "right" time. We defer our deepest desires, believing that life will finally begin once we reach an imagined destination.

Of course, I dream of a country estate nestled in the middle of a city—the best of both worlds, with land to walk through the mud and the richness of culture close at hand. I would love the resources to sustain a life of leisure. But I also know that when we have more, we often enjoy less. In my little Tudor jewel-box in Seattle, I already have everything I need—a space that requires little maintenance but holds infinite leisure and luxury.

So for me, And then what? is not a question of longing but of practice. If I had it all, what would I want to do? Drink tea, travel, write letters, read books, spend time with my favorite people. And if that’s the case—if the dream is simply to live richly and well—then why not do those things now?

Things I'm No Longer Putting Off Until I "Arrive"

Drinking tea from my best china, even on an ordinary day.
Traveling when the opportunity arises, rather than waiting for the “perfect” time.
Writing letters to people I love on Sundays, instead of just thinking about it.
Walking in the mud, stepping in puddles, savoring the seasons, and appreciating nature wherever I am.
Hosting gatherings in my jewel-box home, rather than waiting for a grand estate (Seattle retreat, here we come!).
Reading books that delight me, rather than ones I feel I should read.
Dressing beautifully for myself, not just for special occasions.
Taking leisurely mornings, because my life is worth savoring now.
Investing in heirloom-quality things that bring me joy, so I can enjoy them for years to come.
Living as if I already have everything I need—because, in many ways, I do.

Maybe you, too, are waiting. Maybe you think you’ll finally take that trip, wear that dress, drink from that porcelain cup when the time is right.

But what if the time is now?

Seal of the Week: A Rose

There are several rose seals in the Kathryn Hastings Collection, but this one is my favorite for its simplicity and sweetness. Its unembellished elegance allows the design to speak for itself—a quiet, timeless beauty.

I haven’t painted it in different colors yet, but I’m considering experimenting with wax pairings to evoke different meanings, much like the Victorians did with the language of flowers.

A rose was never just a rose in the Language of Flowers. Depending on the color and pairing, it could mean different things. Here are a few of the interpretations:

Red Rose – Love
Deep Red Rose – Bashful shame
Yellow Rose – Decrease of love, jealousy
White Rose – "I am worthy of you"
Withered White Rose – Transient impressions
White and Red Roses Together – Unity
Crown of Roses – Reward of virtue
Red Rosebud – Girlhood
White Rosebud – Confession of love
Moss Rosebud – Beware, danger
Multiflora Rose – Grace
Mundi Rose – Variety
Musk Rose – Capricious beauty
Cluster Musk Rose – Charming
Single Rose – Simplicity
Thornless Rose – Early attachment
Unique Rose – "Call me not beautiful"
Dog Rose – Pleasure and pain
Guelder Rose – Winter, age
Hundred-leaved Rose – Pride
Japan Rose – Beauty is your only attraction
Maiden Blush Rose – "If you love me, you will find it out"
York and Lancaster Rose – War
Full-blown Rose over Two Buds – Secrecy

One of the pages about roses from the Language of Flowers by Kate Greenaway originally published in 1884

Color of the Week: Diana

Meet Diana, the hunter green sealing wax inspired by the boldness, strength, and untamed spirit of the Roman goddess of the hunt. A deep, verdant green—like the shadows of an ancient forest—this wax evokes the mystery of moonlit glades and the quiet power of a poised arrow.

Diana, goddess of the wild, was revered for her skill, determination, and unwavering connection to nature. This wax carries that same energy—the courage to pursue one’s passions, the grace to move through the unknown, and the resilience to stand strong in the face of challenges.

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The Silver Class is Here (& it's fabulous)

If you've already signed up for the Silver Seal Making Class, you can find access it under "My Courses." You'll notice that the patina section was just added too!

For those who haven't signed up yet, you can do so here. The price is going up this week; so you can still enroll at the early enrollment price. The course teaches you step by step how to make wax seal pendants and wine charms. These techniques can be adapted to make many other things too: bookmarks, buttons, magnets. The possibilities are endless.

Enroll Here