About ten years ago, I listened to Tony Earley read Bill Maxwell’s short fiction story, Love. About Maxwell, Earley said, “He’s not afraid to write emotionally about emotions.”

I’ve thought about that for many years since then. There is a vulnerability and a courage in sharing real emotion, and it's also quite difficult to balance expressing emotions sincerely and “overindulging” in emotions, that verge on sentimentality.

For me the difference between sentiment and sentimentality comes down to two things:

1. The person judging a sentiment - Those who don’t express emotions freely might take a normal level of emotions as “overly” emotional. I’ve been told for years that I’m too sensitive, but then I occasionally find others too unemotional. Sentimentality is subjective.
2. Sincerity - if emotions are expressed genuinely, a person isn't trying to manipulate another's emotional state or generate a false sense of connection through sentiment alone.

Do you ever error on the side of not sharing your emotions even when they’re sincere?

Do you ever worry about being seen as sentimental or overly emotional?

"Toujours Sincere" A feather quill is inscribed “Tourjours Sincere” (always sincere). The writer sends letters form a place of sincerity. After meeting my husband in Summer 2009, my parents invited him for dinner at our small, local casino to get to know him better. Over fresh-baked sourdough bread below a glowing keno board, an environment totally incongruous with my husband’s calm and introverted demeanor, my mom asked him what his parents were like. I can’t remember much of what he shared, but the thing that struck me was that he described his father as sincere. Though I’d known many sincere people in my life, I’d never heard sincerity used to describe anyone. “Real” or “authentic” were the most closely related adjectives I’d heard, but they lacked the implied a gentleness of sincerity. To me, sincerity also carried an earnestness — a commitment to truthfulness in one’s dealings with others. I was intrigued. About a year later, I met my father-in-law to be, and was indeed struck by his sincerity. I’ve known him for a dozen years now, and I’m still humbled by it. He seems more willing than perhaps anyone I’ve met to sit with the human experience in tenderness. He is a poet, who was mentored by Bill Maxwell. I’ve wondered if they maybe found each other through their natural shared sensitivity and sincerity. Or is sincerity a learned skill, perfected through a poet’s careful study and dedication to describing things exactly as they are?

For sincere letters with sentiment

When it comes to writing sincere letters with sentiment, it’s important to strike a balance between expressing your emotions and thoughts honestly and avoiding sentimentality.

Here is some guidance on bringing sentiment into your letters without writing sentimentally:

1. Be specific: Instead of using vague or abstract language, be specific about the feelings and experiences you’re describing. I often go into my body and describe the sensations of my experience.

2. Avoid clichés: Find your own words to describe what you feel!

3. Keep it simple: Let your emotions speak for themselves, no need for overwrought or melodramatic language.

4. Be honest: The most important aspect of writing a sincere letter is to be honest with yourself and with the reader. Letters exist where two people's aura's meet. You want to express yourself honestly while being mindful of how the reader will interpret what you're saying. Is there a more honest way to write?

Overall, the key to writing a sincere letter with sentiment is to balance your emotions with clarity and simplicity. By using specific language, avoiding clichés, and showing your emotions through your writing, you can create a letter that is both heartfelt and genuine.

...but not all sentimentality is bad

Before you eschew sentimentality all together, it’s worth noting that i's closely relate cousin, nostalgia, can actually be quite beneficial:

• Improved mood: A study published in the journal Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts found that participants who listened to nostalgic music reported higher levels of positive emotions and lower levels of negative emotions. The study suggests that nostalgia can be an effective tool for improving mood and emotional well-being.
• Increased social connectedness: According to a study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review, nostalgia can help individuals feel more connected to their social networks and reduce feelings of loneliness. The study found that individuals who experienced feelings of nostalgia reported higher levels of social connectedness and were more likely to seek out social support.
• Enhanced creativity: A study published in the journal Emotion found that participants who experienced feelings of sentimentality were more likely to engage in creative thinking. The study suggests that sentimental feelings can stimulate cognitive processes associated with creativity and problem-solving. (!!!)
• Reduced stress: A study published in the journal Emotion Review found that nostalgia can help individuals cope with stress and anxiety. The study found that participants who experienced feelings of nostalgia had lower levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress, and reported lower levels of stress and anxiety.

Sincerely (really!),

Kay